Present
by NoirSkye
Summary: After their first reading lesson didn't go well, Fenris attempts to make things right with Hawke. Fenris/F!Hawke.
1. Chapter 1

Fenris hoped that this would be easier than he imagined. Bodahn let him in while Sandal kept her Mabari entertained in the foyer. He wanted to give Hawke something that would bring the light of the sun back into her eyes. He removed the necklace from the pouch he had it in. The gem was flawless. The intricate bead work that formed the chain sparkled beautifully. He hadn't been back to Hawke's estate since their first reading lesson. She looked dejected the entire time. While he couldn't figure out how to comfort her.

"I hope you weren't thinking of giving that to Hawke." Varric came up and took the necklace out of Fenris's hand. "She breaks out in a bumpy bloody rash whenever metal touch her skin. Whew. It's awful." He tossed it back to Fenris.

"Jewelry makes Hawke ill?" He hung his head down thinking he couldn't get anything right. He slipped the necklace back in a side pouch.

"Just kidding Fenris, Lord Mentharus's son sent a package here yesterday with an heirloom necklace." She wanted it returned without any offense. "I told her to keep it and I'd get her a good price on it in the markets, but nooooo! She had to go and do the honorable thing. She returned it back to the prick so the high brow brat's ego wasn't bruised too much."

"And your point?"

"She's in there." Varric shook his head and pointed to the room off to the left.

There were a few city guards and a neighbor whose names Fenris chose not to learn. Donnic and the guard assigned to watch his mansion were among them. Varric rejoined the group starting in with an exaggerated tale of some adventure that they all been on.

Isabela sat on the desk. Her legs spread wide. At least she had underclothes on. A wine goblet on the floor before her. She'd knocked off. But she hadn't enough concern to pick it up again. She kept the bottle of wine close preferring to drink from it instead. She used the dagger between her legs to carve another naughty image into the wood.

She raised her head to take another drink and smiled wickedly at Fenris. "Oh, look who I found looking all sexy and in need of a friend.

"I wasn't lost Isabela.'' Fenris reached down and picked the goblet off the ground.

"But you haven't been around."

Fenris marched over to her. With his left hand, he placed the goblet on the table next to the bottle of wine. With his right, he snatched the dagger from her hand. "You have no respect for other people's things."

"I have a healthy respect for other people's things." Isabela slid off the table. When her legs hit the floor, she pressed her body forward making as much contact with his as possible. "That's why when I see something I like, I take it." Isabela raised her arm laying it over his shoulder to draw him in closer.

Fenris batted her arm away like she was a bug. Isabela straightened herself up and rubbed her own ass before resting her hand on her hip. "I hope you didn't show up to see Hawke. I think she's with Anders." She rolled her eyes to indicate that they were upstairs.

He grunted and made his way to the stairs. There were stacks upon stacks of books there. Was he up there reading poetry to her again? Fenris knew Anders assumed he would have Hawke to himself tonight.

"Did Hawke not like it?"

Fenris looked aback annoyed that Isabela was still following him. "Like it? Like what?" He wished Isabela would go away. "Stop being daft and speak plain."

"I'm volunteering my services. After your next lesson., all three of us can move to the bedroom. I can join in and show you both a few things. Or I could watch, instruct and position your bodies if you like.

"Hawke needs no lessons."

"So, you two have done the bedroom bounce. How cute." She folded her arms. "And boring. That doesn't mean you're a couple. A cuuuuple. A couple of what." She cackled for so long she started to choke." She finally got control over herself. "I figured she wouldn't give herself to any man with out a wedding first."

"Isn't it time your cat grabbed some other man's tongue." His marking glowed furiously. His right hands raised up quickly clamping around Isabela's jaw as she stepped onto the stairs. "I have no interest in your" Fenris pulled her body to him as close as he could without her actually touching him. "Conversation." Her lips parted. And her sigh told him that all he was doing was exciting her more. Fenris scanned the room. Every eye was on them. He gave up and let her go.

"You're only saying that because she is around. I know better." Fenris continued moving up the stairs. Hawke had to be there. "You know Anders loves Hawke." Isabela added with a laugh. Fenris stopped. _She doesn't love him. Hawke can't love him. What if I pushed her into the arms of another man._


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Present: part 2

Author: blackcherryangel

Game: Dragon Age 2

Character: Fenris, Amber Hawke, Anders

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters. All are the property of Bioware.

Regrets. That night Fenris had been so sure that he'd done the right thing leaving Hawke. Tonight forced him to admit he was wrong about that and more. His simmering desire for her had not cooled. He needed to show her his worth. Fenris continued up the stairs not sure what he might discover. As a slave, Fenris had nothing to offer her. Not that Hawke asked anything of him. It confused him how everyone believed they were still together, everyone but Isabela and . . .

Anders.

Anders and Hawke were both apostates at different ends of the spectrum. Fenris hated to admit it, but Anders skills as a healer made him one best he'd ever encountered. Hawke's pure destructive power rivaled those powers of the Tevinter magisters. Her magic was different from her diplomatic demeanor. She refused to use blood magic. Fenris knew too well that the true depths of her powers had not been tapped into yet.

Fenris remembered Carver telling him as their group returned from Vimmark Mountains that there was a reckless streak in Anders that reminded Hawke of her father. During that journey, she learned that her father kept secrets. Fenris gut told him Anders had his secrets as well. Whether Hawke refused to see that deception or she was determined to help him no matter what the cost, he couldn't decide which.

They sat on the floor huddled together sharing things that Anders believe no one would never understand. Papers spread out before them. Magic scrolls maybe? Anders's manifesto? A plate of sweets was the only thing between them. Anders read aloud gesturing with his free hand which was constantly, accidentally brushing against Hawke's shoulder. Hawke didn't look like she was buying any of his lies, but sat there enjoying his reading anyway.

Fenris thought on the times when he and Hawke would spend evenings sharing a bit of bread and cheese after they'd both cleaned up after a battle. Or talking late into the night after a night of drinking too much cheap ale at the Hanged Man. While he escorted her home, he would thought about this foreign emotion called love that he had no recollection of. As much as he dreamed each night of them having a future together where they destroyed evil things by day and at night she would come to his bed. Their bodies joined comforting each other with passion until the dawn came. Whatever was going on between them could not last forever. She was nobility and he. Well he was nothing more than a slave.

Hawke snatched the page out of Anders's hand. "It doesn't say that." She said as they shared a laugh.

The times he and Hawke stayed up late talking of nothing of great importance never ended turned into anything as playful as this.

"But you left out a important piece of information." She continued. "How are we to educate all of these apostates as they come into their power?"

"That's where you come in."

"I'm to start a school now. In between the battles and politics."

_Why was he always smiling at her in that way? _Fenris didn't want there to be a fight so he suppressed the urge to rip Anders lips off his face. If this ended badly it would just prove that everything that Anders said about him was true. He was concerned about what the abomination thought of him only because he had Hawke's ear. _I'm not an animal. _Every Tevinter mage he'd ever came in contact with thought of him being no better than a dog. And he didn't mean Mabari. The Fereldens had a reverence for their Mabari hounds.

Anders place his arm around Hawke and took the page back from her. "I find myself unable to stay away from you. It's quite cruel of you know."

"I thought you didn't want to be tied down to anything, to anyone but the cause." Hawke poked him the emphasize her point.

"Being around you all these years. It has changed my stance on several things. It caused me to want things I have no right to ask for any longer." Anders said. "I . . . care about you, Amber. Being with you like this reminds me of what my life was like before I changed. When I agreed to host Justice, I believed justice would be swift. But this revolution is taking longer than expected."

"Anders you must fight to keep that which is human in you alive." Her concern over Anders losing himself to Justice was genuine. He eavesdropped on Her telling him of the lessons her father taught her. She understood the dangers being a mage posed. "And as far as this revolution goes patience. It won't do the movement any good if we mages become what they fear most to gain our freedom."

"I try. Sometimes, I don't know. I'm still not sure how much I should tell you." Suddenly, he became serious. "I will prevent my taint from spoiling you. You are the best of us. What all mages should be. You move with such ease through the political scene here."

"I'm not special. I couldn't keep my family safe."

Fenris watched Anders lean closer to her in an attempt to seduce her. Why hadn't she moved out of his reach? If Isabela knew how Anders felt, then everyone in their tight group knew. Along with everyone at the Hanged Man. Hawke looked down at the plate of sweets between them. That cause her mass of dark wavy curls to fall and cover her face. Anders seized the opportunity to playfully tuck her hair behind her ear. How dare she smile back at him. As Anders moved in closer, Hawke popped one of the sweet confections into his mouth.

"Good isn't it?"

His lips lingered too long on her fingertip for Fenris's liking. "Delicious."

Fenris removed Hawke's scarf from his wrist and slammed it down to the floor. "Maybe you should stop feeding strays. You'll never get rid of him now."

"Fenris?" Hawke got up off of the floor and stood between them. She almost stepped on the plate. Instinctive, she avoided it. "You decided to come."

He couldn't read her. She didn't look angry or relieve to see him. Did she enjoy the attention Anders gave her? Could he blame her after the way he walked out on her after the most amazing night of his life. He couldn't remember his life before. That was until the memories came and left like washing away blood in a river. Slowly currents take the blood away. However, the blood is there somewhere indistinguishable from the water at that point.

He noticed Anders's eyes moving from her calf up to her thighs. It reveal her thighs nicely toned after all these years of walking. He saw a satisfying smile form on the mage's lips. It bothered him that Anders had no shame in fawning all over Hawke.

"Amber, what kind of man would leave such a lovely hostess to wait indefinitely for him to come around. Dinner was served hours ago." Anders poured more wine in the goblet. He filled Hawke's as well. Anders drank from the goblet, but he didn't move from the floor. "What could he have to do that's more important than you?"

"My coming and goings are not your concern mage." Fenris said.

"You conveniently forget that Amber is a mage as well." Anders's tone and intent changed. It challenged Fenris. He drained the last of the wine from the cup. He rose then stood slightly behind Hawke. "If your going to be this late wolf, then why show up at all."

Fenris cracked his neck to release the tension that was building up within him. He kept his rage to a minimum. He wouldn't cause a scene in Hawke's home. But he planned to catch that mage alone and force and understanding on this matter.

"This is not happening here." Hawke said

"But he started it." Anders pouted.

"Do you wish to be alone with him?" Fenris demanded.

"Who does he think he is, Lord of your estate? He makes no decisions here. He can't tell you who you can receive in your home."

"I was talking to Hawke." Fenris barked.

"No, I was talking to her." Anders moved past Hawke standing toe to toe with Fenris.

Fenris laughed. Did Justice rise up to make him this bold. "I'm here to stop that." Fenris didn't understand the feeling swelling up in him. The final straw was seeing them together. He wanted her back. He wanted all the things that everyone thought about them being a couple to be true.

"Stop this or I'll put you both out of my home." Hawke "Go downstairs, Anders."

"Him. Him. You always pick him." Anders turned away from Fenris to look at Hawke. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes. I'll be fine."

"That's good." He put a charming smile back on his face. "I'll leave, but only because you ask so nicely."

"Thank you."

"You know the way out." Fenris grumbled as Anders walked past him.

"So do you, Fenris. So do you." Anders causally tossed out as he descended down the stairs.

"Anders hasn't looked you in the eyes yet." Fenris gave Hawke his full attention. She still looked mad.

"Anders is just being Anders. He just completed his latest manifesto and he want me to read it."

"Really." It was as it had been before he saw her as more than a mage. He would rage and she would be diplomatic. Later proving that he was wrong about her.

"He's excited." She said.

"I bet he is."

Hawke let out a sigh that contained all of the longing and frustrations she had to feel within. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you." There it was once again. The sadness in Hawke's eyes made it hard for him to focus. What could he do? "I don't owe you an explanation."

She was correct. His heartbeat slowed with the realization that if she hadn't been cursed with a mage's blood, she would never have met him. There would be no need for her to accept an odd low paying job from Anso. Running from the slavers would still be his life. Stealing food and coin to have a temporary shelter always living in the shadows. Never knowing the tingle of Hawke's breath as she whispered his name as

He wanted everyone gone when he arrived. Maybe, he should just go as well. This was silly. What if she didn't like it? The most expensive jewels he could afford was not deserving of the title and respect she had earned. Instead of explaining all the emotions that were swirling around in his head he snapped. "Did you two have to hide in corners to read it?"

"How can you hide in the middle of an open room, Fenris?"

He bit down on the inside of his cheek. He didn't want to yell at her. He wanted to do so much more than yell at Hawke. That night he had been the one ask if she was hurt. Making sure that she was okay. It hurt him that he made her so angry.

"I should not have come here."

"Don't go."

"Why do you want me to stay?"

"I don't know. I can't explain. You make this a struggle for me."

He would not run this time. He opened the pouch on his belt that contained the necklace. "I have something for you."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Present: part 3Author: blackcherryangelGame: Dragon Age IICharacters: Fenris, Amber Hawke Disclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters. All are the property of Bioware. I'm just thankful they allow me to play around in their universe.

Hawke mattered to Fenris. He couldn't remember anything mattering to him this much. Revenge mattered, but never a person. Not in a positive way. Fenris wanted to hear Hawke say she accepted him. That her need for him matched his own passion. He needed to lay in her warmness until he worked through all his pain, sorrow, and confusion. He came tonight to repair their lost friendship. Hawke was taking too many chances going to talk to that Templar in the Gallows. And Anders attached himself to her like a tick finding any excuse to come over to her estate. _Why didn't I get back in the bed with her? She wanted to work through all of this with me. Why didn't I trust her enough to say yes? _

The night they spent together he gave her everything that he possessed. Which wasn't much because the odd jobs he took afforded him no luxuries. The understood freedom that came with loving someone. He shared his soul with Hawke that night. "A man is suppose to take care of his debts." He said holding up the necklace before her. "This is payment for the night when you . . ."

"Payment." Hawke said. "Like I'm a whore by the docks?" Hawke's golden-brown eyes screamed as they filled with the one emotion her never saw from her. Fear. "Just go."

Fenris darted his eyes. This was not helping at all. They were finally alone. Nothing made them feel close at this point. "Began teaching me to read." He tossed back. "I wanted to give you something to thank you for teaching me to read."

All of his feelings for her were tied up in the image of Hawke naked before him. Fenris knew what she tasted like. He was familiar with the fragrant scent of her . Touch was a powerful thing. The lyrium branded into his skin became alive as he rubbed his body along hers. Her moans flooded his mind with a melody that to this day he could not get out of his head.

"You wanted to give me a gift? I wasn't expecting that."

He shook the necklace at her. "Why won't you allow me to do something for you?" Her eyes went to the necklace then focused back on him.

"I tried that once, remember." She said. "You got up and left before the sheets were dry."

"What?" Hawke didn't back down when he got in her face. "Sheets?" _What sheets had I messed up? We stayed down in the sitting room for the reading lesson. And before that, I haven't been over here since our night. _When their eyes locked, it came back to him. "Oh." Fenris cursed in Arcanum because did have the correct words to express himself in her native tongue.

"Translated that means I'm a stupid, useless mage."

"Stop this." Fenris grabbed her hard pulling her close to him so that they were only inches apart. Their breathing became calm and settled. "Look at me." Hawke flung her head back. She stood there. He missed their banter. She didn't laugh or joke anymore. Their eyes level just as they were the night they spent together.

"What am I to you Hawke? What do you see when you look at me?" All he could think about that night when her body danced under his touch. He quietly cursed himself for allowing Hawke to win his heart.

"Why do you ask me such things?" Her gaze soften until she could no longer look at him. She looked at the Hawke's crest still attached to his belt. She dragged her finger along it. Hawke tugged at it testing how secure it was. She studied him searching for a answer to a question. She exhaled wrapping her arms around his waist. Her head found his shoulder. He embraced her thankful for genuine affection Eventually, Hawke's lips found his. She was shaking. Fenris tasted the wine lingering on her tongue. The first kiss they shared wasn't this awkward. They parted and kissed again. Her hands made their way up his body. He was unable to talk to her about his pain. It was too soon. She would think he was weak. A fool. An uneducated mess.

Hawke and Fenris never fully separated. His free hand continued to press her hip into his. She no longer fought with him. She kept her arm draped around his neck. Not speaking. She took the necklace from him. "It's beautiful. The stone is perfect."

"Are you giving it back?"_ Why is she giving it back?_

"Help me link the clasp in the back."

"You'll wear it for me?"

Hawke smiled at him for the first time in months. She placed the necklace back in his hand then spun around lifting her hair off of her neck. He didn't understand the pretense in all of human mating rituals, but he was willing to learn for her. He couldn't be the man she needed until he defined for himself who he was. Fenris was Danarius's slave. Danarius must die. With the death of a master, he would be free.

The scent of the wildflower soap still lingered on her skin. It helped him focus on the present and not his past. You needed to be almost on top of her to catch the fragrance. Hawke hated perfumed oils. She told him the expensive ones were too strong. She didn't want to seem like she was trying to catch a man by leaving her scent lingering on everything she touched.

Fenris leaned into her. Reaching around to put the necklace around her . She shivered as the stone kissed her skin. That caused her to back into him sending a rush of feeling that were so reminiscent of that night together. He knew she felt the same. She lingered a bit to long before she straightening herself. The damage was done. He felt himself becoming more aroused. People were here. Good. There were many nights in the mansion when his head filled with images of them together like this. Those nights ended with him taking care of his own needs alone. Ander's thought the unknowing was cruel.

Fenris understood what it was to be lost inside Hawke not knowing where he ended or she began. Snuggled up wrapped in each others arms. Torture was knowing he might never experience that again because he abandon her one night.

Not caring about the death that awaited both of them. Being with Hawke was the first time he knew peace.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Present: epilogueAuthor: blackcherryangelGame: Dragon Age IICharacters: Fenris, Amber Hawke (with Varric and Isabela)Disclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters. All are the property of Bioware. I just have fun playing around in their universe.

Hawke leaned her neck down at an awkward angle to try to view the necklace . He was the one who physically loved her and he wasn't bold enough to move her hair out of her face. "This means a lot to me because it came from you." She said continuing to hold onto him.

Fenris stayed in Kirkwall. Not because he courted the death Danarius would bring once he found him. He stayed for a woman. Not any woman but a very specific who was born a mage. "Can we start up my reading lessons again?" As you teach me to read I'll teach you some of my language.

"That's a deal. I never wanted the lessons to stop. You refused to come here." Their embrace became comfortable.

"Can I ask you something Hawke?"

"Of course."

"You are so sure that you can beat a magister." Maybe once his mind was his own, a future with Hawke could be planned. free. One day he will be free. Hawke didn't care about the death that awaited both of them. Her money and position kept them all safe. That might change one day.

"I'm not going to allow anything to happen to you." Hawke looked as if she had more to say, but she closed her mouth and focused her eyes on the floor.

"I'm not afraid for me. You said you'd rather die than be made tranquil. I'm afraid my passion for freedom isn't as strong as yours. Danarius is planning some huge attack.

He will find me one day."

"And that will be the day he dies."

Fenris became uncomfortable as his body began to betray him once more. He wanted her now. But he couldn't figure out how he could fix this. He wanted to better himself for her. His only true skills were that of a killer. He smiled at her. Hawke smile back. The smile was sweet and sexy and deceiving.

"I got a letter from Emeric today. Aveline wants us to calm him down. City guard embarrassed." Would you be available to check this out with me tomorrow. I figure you Sebastian and I could go talk to him and find out what the problem is. I've put it off long enough. Aveline has pressed me for a resolution."

"I will go."

Hawke picked up the scarf off the floor. "Thank you for your help." She straighten it out. Fenris places the second gauntlet back on his hands. Hawke moves effortlessly across the floor to stand in front of him. Not with her usual grace. Too much wine. She took her time wrapping the favor around his wrist. She tucked the end of the scarf into itself securing it. "I don't want you to lose that."

Seeing Hawke standing she was a perfect vision of a dream he never thought he would have. The kiss on the cheek didn't satisfy his need for her. He kissed her again.

Anders was huddled in a corner with Isabela. She seemed to plea with him

"You're leaving." Varric yelled

"Yes. Make sure that mage is gone."

"Hey, don't worry. I'm personally escorting Blondie back to Darktown when we're done."

"I appreciate it." Fenris said. "For his safety."

"You and Hawke are the stuff of legends. Future generations will tell the tale of a beautiful apostate of noble blood who falls madly in love with a sexy broody elfin slave on the run from his Magister master. They meet after she watches him magically fisting a slaver to death. He curses her. She begs him to allow her to help. A forbidden kiss seals their fate. They hide in the shadows of Lowtown not having enough money to share a meal. However, fortune smile on them when they meet a dashing handsome Dwarf and his lady love Bianca."

Fenris screamed. "Varric, that's not what happened. "

Varric threw his hands in the air. "It needs a little work, sure."

Fenris growls turning away from him to leave. Varric grabbed his arm stopping him before he stormed out of Hawke's home.

"There's no way I'm about to let Blondie mess you two up. You two are the stuff of legends. And I'm the lucky bastard here at the beginning to recording it from the start." Varric stopped at the door and then whispered. "Hawke tore up Kirkwall looking for you after we left the slaver's cave. Care to nail down the details of what happened between you two after you killed Hadriana."

"No."

Varric laughed. "My version is probably better anyway. Wicked Grace at your place tomorrow?"

"Why not. Bring your coin and some wine."

Varric shut the door behind him. The cool misty rain felt good. It distracted Fenris from the many different feelings racing in his mind. By the time he got home, he wouldn't be so focused on being with Hawke. The jangle of metal rung behind him. It was Isabela as she hurried to catch up with him.

"You two made up." Isabela said.

"No, we're not together if that's what you mean." Fenris walked faster.

"She didn't want take you back?" She stroked the bottom of her chin. Her mischievous smile formed on her lips.

"I never asked Hawke to take me back."

"Really." Isabela smile showed too many teeth. She pushed her body on his to get him to stop. The move spilt wine on his armor. Her free hand brush the deep red liquid off then continued to feel his body. She ran her hand along his armor stopping herself just short before anything got interesting. "A question." She was drunk, but Fenris knew her well enough to know that she was up to no good.

"What now?" He said.

"Shall I tell Amber what's really going on or will you?"


End file.
